A sign of just how much my wife knows and loves me:
Sitting in Sunday School, watching an R.C. Sproul video, Dr. Sproul explains that a “contradiction” (as in “A is not A”, and contrasted with “paradox” and “mystery”) is a non-sensical statement. “Nobody can understand a contradiction,” he says. “In fact, I’d go as far as to say that even God cannot understand a contradiction.” At this, I get a silly grin on my face and turn to my wife. She notices and turns towards me, sees my grin, and (reading my mind) acknowledges, “Yes, yes … Chuck Norris can understand a contradiction.”
I love Shannon Straffin.

John:  “I think parenting a teen girl is a game– if you both make it through, you win.”

I told Emily to brainstorm some ideas for her writing project.  She created a full-page mind map which looked completely normal until I noticed that the center circle contained “Um…”

“Here I am, pining for my lost youth…”
– Shannon, getting ready for the day, sighing at her reflection

“No worries, Honey! They’re downstairs eating breakfast.”
– John, being helpful and making his wife laugh

“I need to write that down somewhere: dah dah da-dah, dah da-dah, dah dah da-DAH, dah dah daah daah DAAH. Because every time I think about how it goes, I think: daah daah, da-da-da-DAAH dah, da-da-da-DAAH dah, da-da-da-daaah.”
– Amanda, explaining her tendency to confuse two popular movie themes (A gold star if you can figure out what themes she “sung”)

“I’m frankly stunned by the quality of what’s streaming over the Internet to my television right now.”
– John, Upon firing up Netflix streaming for the first time

“That’s because you’re a geek who understands how things have changed. The rest of us just expect magic.”
– Shannon

“You know, sweetie, I won’t be wearing my wedding ring during my triathlon … you may want to be there to beat back the female competitors.”
– John, 3k into a 5k run with Shannon

“Just run faster than they do … I mean, it *is* a race, after all …”
– Shannon, 17 years into being married to John

“This hasn’t been washed… or if it has, it was with a stick of butter…”
– Shannon, upon retrieving a pot that the girls “washed”