As my body seems to find three-day weekends to be an opportune time to succumb to one sort of contagion or another, I found myself lying around today, feeling generally miserable. Things were made much better than they could have been by the presence of my wife, lying around for a bit right next to me. (She’d been painting a bathroom ceiling all morning and was feeling generally miserable as well, but for very different reasons.)

Me: Oh … did I tell you? Today, in the shower, I coughed so hard it made my back tingle!

Shan: Um … that can’t be good.

Me: Not likely … maybe some sort of signal from my body … “Structural failure imminent. Evacuate immediately.”

(Both of us laugh aloud at this.)

Me: I am immensely comforted by the fact that there is research that shows that the “man cold” is indeed a thing … that we suffer more than women do when we’re sick.

Shan: It’s because we have to go through childbirth. Our pain tolerance is higher.

Me: I think it’s more like “since we have to go through childbirth … since you did this to us, you men will have to be unbelievably miserable every time you have a cold. And by ‘unbelievably’, we mean that we won’t believe you.”

Shan: That research was probably done by a man.

(Both of us laugh aloud again, this time more-or-less uncontrollably.)

Amanda: My fashion sense is a little off today. 🙂
Emily: A little? 🙂
Me: Today? 🙂
Amanda:

Amanda, with sudden curiosity:  “What is cilantro?”

Mama, hoping to be helpful: “It’s an herb.”

Emily, in a completely dead-pan tone, straight-faced: “Italian parsley, 4889.”

Talking to Emily about biology lab, and she tells me: “… and sometimes [the instructor] looks at our answers and laughs, because we were just completely grasping at straws, and that wasn’t even a straw– that was a pickle– but we put it in there anyway, because we had no idea what we were doing.”

But, Emily also scored a 101/100 on her 2nd biology exam, so I’m not going to sweat the pickles.

[THUNK!]
– Emily, on Amanda

[OOOWWW!]
– Amanda

“Ooo! Sorry! I was aiming for the meaty part!”
– Emily

“KNEES DON’T HAVE MEATY PARTS!”
– Amanda

As usual, I took my rings off before our family hike, since my fingers tend to swell when I get warm. When we got back to the car, in preparation to walking into town for ice cream, this happened:

John: “Are you going to put your rings back on, or do I need to keep my hiking stick with me?”
Me:  “Of course. Why would you need your stick either way?”
John: “Well, if you didn’t have your wedding ring on, I’d need to be prepared to beat off all the guys sure to be after you.”

This after 21 years of marriage and a particularly sweaty hike. I love my husband!!

Shannon: “Emily, would it be correct to say that you are part of a Community Ballet… Troupe?”

(From multiple voices, elsewhere in the house): “Gang?” “Flock?” “Mob?” “Herd?”

Emily: “Troupe. Troupe is good.”

Me:  “Too bad I’m not made of money.”

Emily:  “But isn’t that what mom stands for?”

Me:  “If only…”

Filed under “things you don’t want to hear from someone looking through your dining room cabinet”:

“Oh look!  It’s my science experiment from 3 months ago!”