“Wow, even the trash is fancy here!”
– Emily, at Biltmore estate, admiring the cast iron scrollwork around a trash can in the parking lot

“Hey, we could move here– they have a Walmart!”
– Shannon, joking with John while driving through Hendersonville on vacation, continuing our casual search for the perfect place to move to in the mountains when the kids are grown

“But we don’t have enough clothes– or the cats!”
– Amanda, from the backseat, thinking maybe that’s why we’ve been doing all this driving

“Man made things God does not marvel at; God made things man marvels at”
– Emily, unscripted, unprompted, from the backseat, as we were passing a man-made waterfall on our way to hike around some God-made ones!

“Daddy, what’s “Death by Chocolate”?
– Emily, reading the list of desserts in a restaurant

“What do you think it is?”
– Daddy

“A cake that’s really really really chocolatey?”
– Emily, clearly still wondering about the “death” part

“Yep, and then they shoot you.”
– Daddy, completely straight-faced

(brief pause while Emily considers this information)

“I think maybe I’d like to try the cheesecake.”
– Emily, not taking any chances

“… and the people who worked for Hitler were called the Nazis.”
– Shannon, explaining the setting for a story set in Nazi-occupied France during WWII

“Maybe that’s because they were naughty!”
– Amanda, in a sudden flash of inspiration

“I’m here to … protect you.”
– Emily, in a groggy voice, about an hour after bedtime

(She wandered down the hall into the office where we were sitting to make this announcement. Not surprisingly, she has no memory of this.)

“I like it because it has four of my favorite things: a horse, a castle, a princess, and a butterfly.”
– Emily, explaining her foam art project during show and tell

“What about the prince? Don’t you like him?”
– Grampy

“Grampy, he’s a boy.”
– Emily, in a slightly disgusted tone that clearly indicates what she thinks of that.

“Grandma, you take so many pictures you’re driving me crazy!”
– Emily

“Isn’t that my job?”
– Grandma

(From the next room) “No, your job is to make us happy!”
– Amanda

“Mama, did these mushrooms come from outside?”
– Amanda, examining her soup

“They didn’t come from the back yard, if that’s what you mean. I opened a can from Costco.”
– Mama, extrapolating to get at her real question

“They came from outside, from Costco’s back yard, Amanda!”
– Emily, explaining… sort of

“Did Mrs. Todd have a baby shower?”
– Emily, very interested in every aspect of a family friend’s brand new baby

“No. Once you have both a boy and a girl, you generally don’t have baby showers anymore because you already have a lot of baby stuff.”
– Mama

“I know where Mrs. Todd has a baby shower– her sink!!”
– Amanda, very amused by her own joke